26773*2^2465343-1 is prime!
Posted 17 Dec 2006 by Lee
As many of you know, recently user Darkstar found 26773*2^2465343-1 to be prime. Some thought this would be a straight forward case of a prime found, verified, and then praised here on the front page quickly. However, I was instantly hit with a court order to silence the true story behind this prime. After many weeks of their lawyers talking to Riesel Cat in a barrage of heated emails, something changed. The judge who issued the orders for Riesel Sieve to hide the truth came face to face with this evil we here at Riesel Sieve are trying to rid the world of. His wife was brutally beaten, almost to death, by an insidious prime. Here is the truth about the latest prime.
Darkstar is ever so the good husband. A week before Thanksgiving holiday he purchased a new computer for his wife. She was thrilled to have a computer for her very own. No longer would she have to wait in line behind his video game addictions. Now she could eBay to her hearts content. She could pay her bills online at 3am and every thing would be better. Until the HD light wouldn't stop blinking. Something was wrong here. You could feel the evil aura flowing from the sleek desktop.
The monitor would blink subliminal messages. I AM COMING FOR YOU! The mouse drops, the chair slides, she starts to run, but it is too late. The prime has just jumped from the digital dimension to our reality. Cornered in her own room, she screams. From another room, circling the rings of a distant galaxy, Darkstar snaps from his massive online realtime strategy to the sounds of his lovely wifes screams. The headphones drop, the keyboard is thrown, the door swings violently from its hinges. In full run he enters the room to see the monstrosity of 742147 digits towering over his love. He cowers in fear. Then a door is opened in the most primal part of his mind. An ancient animal instinct is awaken. Logic and reason are muted. Adrenaline is rushed. Anger seethes. Fear gives to determination.
A tool is drawn. A mere twig of wood. Hopelessly small in the hands of a man standing against a giant. The LLR BeatStick(tm) draws power from the prime itself. It grows in Darkstars hands to the size of ancient oak. There is no weight. It feels good. It feels powerful. It feels glorious. There is no fear. There is no pain. Only a warrior standing up to the demon. Time slows. Every move feels like an eternity. The blood boils. The rage unleashed. The prime is destroyed in a hail of blows in an hour long lust of violence. Darkstar beats the prime until there are no more digits left to pound.
The Beatstick(tm) falls to the floor. Darkstar rushes to his crying wife. An embrace, a tear, a realization of what really is important in life. In that moment the world changed for both him and his family.
This isn't the first time this has happened. It won't be the last. Luckily Darkstar was armed by the LLR Beatstick(tm). Many computer manufactures had a federal judge issue a cease and desist order to Riesel Sieve to keep this story from seeing the light of day. WHY? Because all new computers are infected with primes. Some are tiny, some are huge. However, the major manufactures don't know how to cleanse their systems. A total recall of all systems would bankrupt the industry. They try to hide the information until a way is found. There is a way. Download our Boinc client and run our LLR client. Or try our classic LLRNet client. Either way, you can do your part in cleansing the world of renegade primes.
Your family is too important to risk to this hidden monster that dwells in the very computer they use every day. Arm yourself with a weapon that has been documented over and over to be the most effective destroyer of primes.
Darkstar, we thank you for your bravery in the face of such evil. May you always be remembered as the Slayer of 26773.